Mom and Madie....here we are, and we're pretty much inseparable. Madie woke up yesterday morning while I was getting ready for work. She didn't fuss or call for me like she usually does, I just heard little footsteps pitter-patting through the house, and she runs and throws her arms around me. I can't tell you how good a feeling that is!

I have wanted to be a mom pretty much all of my life...my sister and I would discuss parenting, and she'd always say she didn't really care if she got married or had children (this was when we were about twelve and fourteen). I would have gotten married at age sixteen if that had been allowed! I just wanted to hurry up and get to my "wonderful life" with a husband and kids and home of my own. God made me wait a long time for it, but it was definitely worth the wait.

I wrote this when I was lonely and very upset and wishing I had the happy marriage I wanted:

I look around at others who have gone

Beyond the door that's locked to those alone

Who haven't sealed themselves with circled bands

That flash in silent meaning on their hands.

I can't help wanting to be something more

Than just an object hidden by that door,

To share in every joy and trial you face

And know that I'm entitled to that place.

I wish that time and age could hold no weight

And love and life could not be ruled by fate.

So here I am, waiting for my cue

Which, no matter what, must come from you,

Watching scenes from those familiar places

Flash their light on other people's faces.

I wrote that when I was sixteen years old...and I wasn't married for ten more years after that. Makes me ever so thankful for my family and home. I have always wanted to be exactly what I am today...I guess God knew what He was doing.

I just have to brag about my husband a little...though he always accuses me of "talking bad about him" to my family. I'm his biggest fan, but if you ask him he would say I think he can't do anything right. I guess I'm a little oblivious to the fact that I argue with him about inconsequential things. I think it's because we were allowed to "discuss" things with our parents when we were kids...Dad was the boss, but if you could CONVINCE him that you were right, you could sway him to give in to what you wanted. I was known as the "weasler" in our household, because I knew exactly how to phrase things to get my own way. Anyway, all that to say that God gave me a better husband than I could ever have asked for, and in spite of my arguing, he's usually right.

My husband Chris is the best dad, too. I love these photos of him and Madeline at the fair this past summer. I think as she gets older she will become more of a Daddy's girl...she's going to learn so much from him. She woke up the other morning and looked around the bed and said, "Dad-da?" I told her, "Daddy's at work already, Madie." She considered that, and said, "Pink...ball." I had to think for a minute before I connected her words to her complete thought process...she thought Chris was working at his part time job at the grocery store, and Grandma had bought her a pink ball there, at the beginning of the summer. That little girl is smart, and when her vocabulary catches up with her mind, we're all going to be in for a treat. Here's some pictures of Chris and Madie, the biggest blessings of my life!

This was my horse when I was a girl. His name is Rudy and my dad gave him to me when I was about ten years old. Rudy was a really special horse, because he was the only colt we got from our old gray mare Tasha and our new stallion, a Two Eyed Jack grandson. Rudy was built more like a racing Quarter Horse than any of our other horses. He had Thoroughbred lines from his mother who had Three Bars right on her pedigree.
I started training Rudy when he was two, and since I was just a kid myself I'm sure I made a lot of mistakes. I remember falling off a few times because I tried to ride him bareback out in the pasture with the other two-year-old colts. They all started running, and he bucked, and then ran away. I think I learned more than he did during those training sessions. My older sister Kandra gave me tips; she had been to a Ray Hunt clinic, and always started Dad's colts for him. We always had a lot of cattle work to do on Dad's ranch, so it didn't take very long for colts to learn the basics.
When I was in high school, I wanted to try riding English. My dad wouldn't let me buy an English saddle, even though I had saved up my money for one. He said there was no place for an English saddle on a working cattle ranch. I borrowed an English saddle from our neighbor and the first time I rode Rudy in it, he ran away with me. I hung on, but was unfamiliar with the saddle, and when he came to a barbed wire fence and turned sharply, the saddle slipped sideways. I hung on awhile longer, but the sideways saddle really wasn't helping me! So finally the saddle and I tumbled to the ground, and Rudy ran on for a few miles...I cleaned up the saddle and returned it and gave up ideas of riding English and jumping.
Rudy still lives on my parents' ranch, and whenever we go visit I talk to him and he looks at me like, "Oh, it's you again" and sniffs my hands. He is getting up in years, but still loves working cattle. My dad rode him regularly while I was in college, and every so often Rudy would get hyper and want to run. Dad just spoke to him gruffly, and he would settle back down. I think he would still run away to this day if given the chance!
During those high-speed escapades, it didn't feel like he was even touching the ground. I was too afraid to pull him sideways, afraid I would throw him like they do in the movies to make the horse fall down. So I would pull back as hard as I could and hang on for dear life. I never was hurt, but I fell off many times, when he would race up to a fence and skid to a stop. I was a crazy kid, and it's a wonder I lived to see old age! I always wondered just how fast Rudy was actually running, and if he would have been a competitive race horse. I knew he would have been an awesome barrel racing horse, but didn't think anyone could get him to turn. But we were just ranch riders, and his potential was left untapped in some ways. He will always have a special spot in my heart.

I have always loved watching the ponies at the fair...I always felt sorry for them being confined to their little worn-bare circle, but yet admired them and wanted to ride one. This past summer, my husband and I took our daughter Madeline to the fair. She is a natural born horse lover. She says "hee-hee" whenever she sees a horse or picture of one. I love her expression of confidence riding this cute little black pony!

We recently started training our three year old Appaloosa gelding. He is coming along well, and is the easiest colt I've ever trained. Here is another photo of Madie riding him. If all goes as planned, she'll be riding him by herself in a few years. He is extremely docile and well mannered, doesn't spook at anything, and will walk through mud and obstacles without worrying. Madeline really loves the horses!

Here are some pictures of my horse and trainer Kevin Wescott at a recent horse clinic I attended. It was a gorgeous day for riding. My mare was ornery at first, and bucked with the trainer, but when I rode her, she was a perfect angel. He took some of the sass out of her, I guess. There were probably fifteen other riders with their horses, as well. Lots of fun!

Memorial Day weekend we drove out to Idaho to visit my parents on their ranch. It was the best weekend to go, since they had a big day planned for Saturday. We got to drive cattle up the canyons into the mountain pastures for summer grazing. It was a perfect day, the scenery was gorgeous, and the horses were careful with us. This picture is of me and our daughter Madie, riding my sister's horse Lazaroni. She is a four year old Quarter Horse, and my sister has done a really nice job of training her. We drove about a hundred head of cows and calves up a dirt road. There were streams alongside the road, and the cows and horses could stop and drink from time to time. The terrain there is really rough and rocky...the sagebrush grows as high as the horses' backs in some places, and it is scratchy and thick to try to ride through. The horses do really well walking and even running through the rocks and sagebrush...they all wear shoes to protect their feet in that kind of country. We only got to stay for a few days, but it was a really nice vacation.

Here is my horse, a registered Quarter Horse mare named Daisy. (Her registered name is Poco Blackburn Madie, but we named our daughter Madeline and shortened it to Madie, so the horse had to adopt a different name.)
Daisy is as gentle as a dog, but really hasn't been ridden very much. I bought her from a neighbor, and she has always been gentle and easy to handle, but sometimes she doesn't want to be ridden. She bucked me off one time, right in front of my mother-in-law. I'm going to continue to train her...she has a lot of potential and I just need to spend more time with her.

Here I am with a wide open notebook....I can say anything I want to say. When I was a little kid, I always loved having a new notebook or just a clean sheet of paper in front of me. I am an artist, a poet, a writer, a dreamer... I've been that way all of my life. Only now, I find that there isn't time for me to sit, think, compose, dream, or even concentrate. I've got a toddler in the house.

But she's sleeping now, and I'm staying up late starting my own blog. It's something I've wanted to do for several years and just haven't gotten to it. Every day is filled to the fullest. I am supremely happy with life, and I keep busy enough at it that I don't notice some things that fall by the wayside. One of those fallen things is having a wide open space to think in, dream in, write in, and own. It's a little daisy petal I'm stooping to pick up today. My own blog...I like it.